Monday, June 10, 2013

My Uterus is a Selfish Bitch.

Didn't my uterus "supposedly" just get a new lining like a month ago... uuugghhhh... I know this signifies I'm truly a woman, but I want this over. Pic I just took after this write-up...

Hair actually wasn't that bad after it dried by itself this morning.
Put on a little lipstick, eyeliner on the bottom and mascara as well...
I was sitting at my desk working and I just couldn't take the "pad" anymore. I felt too much like a diaper. I had some tampons in my purse so I decided to go to the bathroom and "insert" one. I got up and headed in to the bathroom. I sat down and looked down and myself... GROSS!!! I wrapped the  bloody, used pad up in a huge wad of TP and then remembered that my purse was sitting on my desk. As I feel some "stuff" leaking out that very moment, I panicked... What am I gonna do?"

I balled up a big think of TP and stuffed it in my panties and pulled them up. GOD, my and this bathroom have shared some moments!!! I walked very awkwardly back to my office and sat down. I couldn't go back to the bathroom just now could I? 

I decided to wait like 30 minutes and go to the one in the lobby...

Time was up, I got up and saw no visible leakage. Headed to the lobby and sat down, pulled down my pants and, umm... gross again. Leaked through the TP and all over my panties and a little on the crotch of my jeans, but now much... Dammit!!! I flushed the TP and decided to put in the tampon... Now, where are those directions Olivia wrote down...
  1. Sit on the toilet with your legs apart.
  2. Make sure the string is hanging outside the barrel.
  3. Take your left hand and spread your "pussy" lips apart. (Not really feeling like calling it that right now...)
  4. Find your "pussy." (Really?)
  5. Hold the applicator and place your index finger at the end of the applicator. That's the part where the string is hanging out.
  6. Slide the tampon into your vagina aiming toward your butt-bone. Stop when your fingers touch your body. (I'm not getting my fingers that close...)
  7. Push the tampon in until the smaller tube is inside the larger tube.
  8. Remove the applicator. Make sure the string is hanging out.
  9. Wash your hands and clean up.
Sounded easy enough... It wasn't that bad. Got it in correctly the first try! Headed back to my office.

So, it's like 3:15 and I'm ready to go home. Also, got a call from someone today... An interesting call at that!

Hopefully I'll write some more tonight...


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