MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Tonya's going out of town with her family to visit her grandma in Arizona so I'm just gonna maybe spend a few nights at the Old Folks Home.  Everyone will be there tomorrow!!! Gonna be a blast. Luke, Thomas and Jenny and me, all there like old times!!!

Gonna take some time off from blogging, nothing too long, maybe a 4 or 5 days and just relax and enjoy life for a short time before everything gets crazy again!

So, fair-well and Happy New Year if I'm not back on by then!!!

Oh yeah, and enjoy this!!!

Set up muh camera on muh  tripod and photoshopped pic just a wee bit! Hee hee!!! ENJOY!!!

What an End to Last Week!!!

I think I'm finally getting caught up on sleep and it's taken me forever!!! so Here's the rundown on the craziness!

Wednesday Night - Long Ass Rehearsal!

Thursday Afternoon - Tripped and fell and 'sprained my right wrist really badly. Thank god it wasn't my left one, then I couldn't play guitar. Well, I would have tried and I probably would have done it, but it would have hurt like hell!

Friday - Slept in till like 1pm and then was lazy until around 4:00pm. Had to be at the venue for the show at 5pm for sound check and I was late... Got there around 5:31 and everyone was waiting on me. Yikes!!! Show went well, really well although my wrist was hurting like hell. Made holding my pick feel really awkward! Anyway, Tonya couldn't go for some reason so no pics really... Just two I downloaded from the venue's website today. If I'm not careful, I'm gonna have to start paying Tonya for being my personal photographer!

Me and Allen rocking out. Hmm, interesting...

In a trance or something it looks like! Oh yeah, wrist probably hurting here...
Should have kept my brace in it during the show.

Well, me and Luke are about to go do some shopping!

Wrist is throbbing so I guess it's time for more tylenol! I might end up getting some x-rays tomorrow, I just don't know yet.

Also, no real cramping this last week and my monthly visitor showed up this morning. Yea!?!?! I was wondering where it was... Like 2 days late and kinda light... Weird...

Almost Merry Christmas!!!

Leaving, On a Jet Plane... Again...

Well, today's the day for my big-A long trip to Africa, Asia and Europe! Three continents in one trip! So cool! Flight is at 4pm and Tonya's dropping me off. I better get finished packing. I might cut the grass before, lol, NOT! I'll just get Luke to do it. It's like ankle high or higher in some parts... Oops!

Anyway, I'm out. I'm bringing my laptop but I just don't know how much I'll be able to post while there...

Just got nervous thinking about the trip... It's a long way off and I'll be there mostly with people I've never met before. This is my first real trip to Africa and Asia(Middle East). I just hope this little girl doesn't get lost or mugged or something. I won't have my Taurus with me there. Oh well, it'll still be fun!

Sleepy but happy...

Looking all sleepy. My lips look nice here... 

Gonna miss my Sweet Molly.

Bye for now!

Halloween!!! Got Lady Vader Finished!!!

I can't believe we got it all finished!!! Here's more of the build. Been 'working' from home, ha, so basically just been back and forth from mom and dad's and here working on this costume non-stop...

I knew the armor was going to be the most challenging part of the project and I was right. To make the armor, me and Luke decided to go with Worbla, which is a thermoplastic very similar to Wonderflex.  Neither one of us had never used Worbla before so it was definitely a learning experience. There are a few things I might have done differently if I did it over again, but overall, I was happy with the results. For most of the armor, we used two pieces of Worbla with a piece of craft foam in between. We found this template online, enlarged it on a copy machine and used it as a basis for the chest armor.

Once we had everything fitted to my body, we made the two shoulder pauldrons and cut the two “tear drop” shapes out of the front. To fill in these two tear drop shapes, you could either use putty or do what we did, which was use bondo (aka auto filler).

The decision to use bondo (aka body filler) on top of the Worbla was due to a couple of things – I wanted the armor to be really smooth to the point where it looked like plastic and I didn’t want any imperfections in the shape. Perhaps a ton of gesso primer could have done that, but I didn’t want to take the risk so we decided to do it the hard way and bondo’d everything! We used Evercoat Rage Premium auto filler, which I thought was fairly easy to use although this was our first time using bondo so I could be wrong. :P

The entire 1-2 day process of bondo, sanding, bondo, sanding during a heat wave was pretty tiring and it took a while to get used to the materials. We had to bondo each piece maybe 5-6 times to fill in all those nasty little air bubbles and getting those “tear drop” shapes on the front chest piece was challenging, but I was really happy with the results.

After a few layers of wood glue as primer, it was finally time to paint! Since I was already using car repair materials, I appropriately ended up using auto body paint for the armor. Considering the 1-2 days it took to bondo and prime everything, painting was the fun and “easy” part. I highly recommend using Frog Tape for any of your masking needs – it is way more reliable than the blue tape, especially if you are painting your house!

Masked, painted grey, masked again, painted black.

Trying on the armor!

Once all the armor was assembled using sticky back velcro, I just had to take care of a few smaller pieces like the belt. I knew hooking up LED lights for Vader’s belt boxes was a going to be interesting since conceptually I thought I could do it, but in reality I wasn’t sure. I had never soldered anything or made a real circuit, but my dad is kind of a physics nerd, so I got him in on the project I was pretty excited to see if he/we could do it. We did some some online research, and doing some pen/paper calculations, we were ready to build the first circuit. And... It worked! At that point, we soldered everything together in the two Worbla boxes and taped all the wires down with electrical tape. Since I was running out of time, I had to purchase an unfinished chest box from a 501st guy here in Miami so unfortunately that part didn't light up. :(

Finally it was time to actually start trying everything on… 

Well, that covers everything for the most part! Definitely let me know what you think of the materials or if you have recommendations. Would love to hear your thoughts!

I'll put up some pics tonight from the party/show. And I really hope the A/C is working there, this thing is damn hot!!! I'm gonna loose some weight tonight, fo shizzle.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Costume Actually Coming Along Nicely

I knew the minute I saw this anime Lady Vader art that I wanted to cosplay the costume. However, when I started to show some of my friends, I got a few concerned “Wow, that’s ambitious!” comments, especially from Tonya. I mean, could I actually pull it off? Would I look ridiculous in all that armor? My head was full of questions about how comfortable I would be, whether or not I could even make everything in time, and if I would even look right as this character. But in the end, so far, I've had so much fun and am really proud of myself and mom for helping me with this and we've both learned a few new things along the way. So with that, I wanted to share a brief tutorial and the progress pics I took along my journey of making Lady Vader!

The first thing me and mom made so far is the 2 piece suit, which was made entirely of a matte stretch PVC fabric. The stretch came in handy since the back of the top and back of the leggings were not quilted and the fabric was also just the right thickness that I could quilt it without being super bulky. To quilt all the front pieces (front of top, arms, and front of leggings), we drew chalk lines on the stretch PVC (about 3/4″ apart) and sewed the 3 layers together – the stretch PVC, batting, and a thin layer of stretch mesh spandex on the inside.

Once we made the basic front and back of the top, we added a mock neck and sleeves. As for the leggings, I only quilted these about halfway down since I knew I would be wearing tall boots or shin guards.

The leggings and the full suit!

I made the decision early on to eliminate Vader’s outer cape. I really liked the way the inner cape looked feminine and kind of like a dress so I was very specific in draping it a certain way. Mom, being the seamstress she is, already had this wonderful dress form just for this!

Before and after of the draped inner cape.

So, that's how far I'm along on it now. I plan on getting with Luke tonight to work on the armor and electronics and all the other stuff, like maybe modding up the helmet a bit, if I even wear one with this. So far, so good! Once again, THANKS MOM!!! Only thing is I'm worried about is that I'm kinda bloated, big-time this month. Might need to make it a little more snug than the tape around my waist is showing... Yep, you guessed it. Monthly visitor. Yea. :(

Two full days of stuff going on!!!

I'm exhausted... From yesterday and today, I need a break, a vacation... something! Alcohol!!! More alcohol!!!

I just got in from recording and I'll try to recap...

The rest of Monday...
I went over to Tonya's and we ran a little (and walked a lot!). She ran as much as she could and then we would walk! And thank god for that, it's not like I'm in the greatest shape either. I was huffing and puffing enough to blow down a little pig's house myself!!! I got her to take a few shots of me running so I could post them on here so Carolyn could see them and see me exercising... We ran at a park near Tonya's condo complex... A lot of people run there...

I thought this girl was stalking me. She was running really close to me the whole time. Actually freaked Tonya out too!
Turns out she recognized me and wanted to meet me. Her name is Janice and she just started playing guitar and had seen one of my bands shows. She was pretty soon but a little creepy at first.

As much as I hate running, I had a pretty good time  running with Tonya. It's always better running with someone else.

After that, Tonya was really too tired to go over  to Mom and Dad's. She just wanted  to rest so I promised her I'd bring her some casserole back with me. I headed over to my parents house and jumped in the pool first thing before I even said hey to them. I really love swimming. Being alone in the pool around evening time is so relaxing. Luke got there for dinner and we ate and then watched some TV and then I headed back to Tonya's... And we had some fun!!! Long awaited fun!!! I guess she got rested up enough while I was gone! We had the place all to ourselves and we, well, tried out every room!!! Hee hee!

Nice coming home to this!
Snapped this pic in the living room as she was pulling the curtains shut!!! Hot Mama!!!

So today, I got up, uuuggggg, and went to work. I worked straight until 3pm-ish and then had to be at the studio for tracking and "vocals" around 3:30. Hit Mcdonald's drive-thru and got a mean and ate in the car on the way to the studio. John finally had the drums down for the first three somgs and was tracking the 4th one and was actually doing quite better when I got there. Having to stay on beat was keeping him more in the pocket, which is a good thing for him! I played on three more songs and then went into the vocal booth to track my first ever vocals with the band on a recording! Exciting! Never got to do this when I was Brendan, but, we had just really started out when we put that EP out so...

Had a little meeting with Josh about how we thought things were going and then headed back to Tonya's place. Super long day. Gonna watch some ESPN U and see what, if anything, they're saying about the 'Canes. Could be another long year... We have Florida in week 2. The 'big, bad SEC..."

Well, about to hit the shower and then try to convince Tonya to switch channels from the History channel to ESPN.

Laters!!!

Old Folks Home and a Quick Run to the Store...

Got a call from mom this morning, at like 8:15 am... She's cooking some Hamburger Casserole for dinner, one of my favorite things in the world to eat! I can't wait. It's so good!!! I might bring Tonya, I'm sure Luke would love to see her! I guess we'll head over there around 5pm-ish...

But first, I got in touch with Carolyn today and she said that the pics I took while staying with her are being very well received by the company and everyone she's shown them to have loved them. She's going to be sending me a couple out-takes to post on here maybe today. She said that the president of the company is a big fan and she said he "loves my look" and to "keep snapping pics of that Miss McAdams!" Pretty cool!!! Here's the post showing some of the selfie pics I took from that last shoot...

I might go for a run today. Carolyn actually told me to be sure to exercise and then did a little cough... Mmm Hmm... Meanie!!! When she switched bodies, she gained a little weight herself! Not that I'm complaining, she's still smoking hot! Her boobs look to be much bigger now and her ass, DAMN!!! So, I might run at some point today. Maybe... And, only if Tonya goes with me.

Gonna run to the grocery store. Fridge and cupboard are bare. I really don't want to put on make-up right now... Sunglasses and ponytail... maybe lipstick. Yeah! That's the ticket!

I think I'm gonna go just like this! I got no one to impress at the grocery store, right?

The Start of Yet Another Week...

Guess what... I found another old pic on my computer of me from my last few days in high school... Here it is! Here's the old post...

Me and Emily on the last day of high school! I wonder what she's up to...

Guess what... This was my to-do list today!

You gotta love these kinda days!!!

Guess what... I called Luke up and we went to a club and listened to some bands! It was great hanging with him. 

Good time hanging with my bro!

Guess what... That's about it! Gonna get some sleep. I'll probably go in to work tomorrow. I'm probably backed up a bit...

Nighty night!

Cindy Breeland McAdams

Time to Celebrate the 4th!

Mom wanted everyone there early to hang and play games! They always try to make it fun, which it usually is! If it's one thing the McAdams are all about, it's fun involving games and competition! As soon as we got there, I saw dad in the garage and me and O went to chat. He was already going through the fireworks and I'll have to say that it was the most that he's ever bought!

"Dad! What in the world! Did you buy out a whole stand or something!?!?"

"Well hey there Bree! And how are you miss Olivia?"

"Doing good dad!"

"Me too Mr. McAdams!"

"I bought all these so we can compete with the Russels next door and win this time! I figured that we could all shoot. I think Thomas is coming sometime today to stay a few days. You up for some good ole firework neighbor competition, Olivia?"

"You bet! I love shooting fireworks!"

"Good to hear! Well, these are now all sorted and I have to go back in and help the Mrs. get dinner going and get the grill cleaned and ready. See you girls around!" He walked by me and gave me a kiss just as Luke walked in the garage.

"I bet he never did that to you as Brendan... Hey there.. Olivia!"

"Nope! He sure didn't!"

"Hey Luke. What's up?"

"Not much. What are you two about to do?"

"Swim, maybe. Is the floating goal in the water yet this year?"

"I just put it in! When Tommy gets here we can play some 2 - 2 but until then we can just swim or play 21..."

"Sounds like fun! We'll go change!"

"Yep. Let's go change!"

"See ya in tha pool!"

We went up to my old room and changed and ended up playing a little "purple nurple" on my old bed. With that game, I don't think there's ever a winner. All parties involved end up with sore, red, painful nipples. Fun though... kinda! ;)

We got in the pool, which was surprisingly warm, and started horsing around. Olivia just wanted to swim for the time being so me and Luke played some 1-1 on the floating goal. He won, dammit. He's so much taller than me now! Not too bad though... 15-10... Played one more game... worse... 15-8... We swam a little more and then O wanted to go lay out for a little while. Luke said he would too so we all dried off and headed for some lounge chairs.

Muh legs getting some Florida sunshine!!!

Thomas got there finally, pullin up in his new Defender 90. He came straight over to me, picked me up and threw me in the pool! I was kicking and screaming but he's just too big and strong for me to do anything about it!

He did a hulk pose and then Luke said, "You're sooooo strong Tommy! She weighs like what, a buck 15? Why don't you try to do that to me?"

"Ok! I will!" He walked over and Luke got up and they started to try to throw each other in the pool. Neither one seemed to have the upper hand from my vantage point dog-paddling in the deep-end. They were getting real close to the edge but no one was in yet. Olivia quitely got up and walked over to them. They didn't even see her. She just easily pushed them both in at the same time!!!

Everyone there cheered for her! "I win!" She then took a bow and then did a cannon ball into the deep-end right near me.

"Great job! Well done!"

"Thanks!"

"We played some 2-2 after that. Me and Luke against Olivia and Thomas. It was the closest game ever in McAdams history. We played to 15 and you had to win by two. The final score was... 28-26 in favor of... ME AND LUKE!!! Woo hoo!!! Olivia really surprised me with how good she was! You go girl! Right after the game ended, mom yelled out that it was time to eat.

The food was incredible! Salad with 3 different kinda of homemade dressing, grilled corn on the cob, french fries, burgers, steak, hotdogs and homemade ice cream and a Lemon Meringue pie for dessert! So glad I went to the gym this morning! Now, I'm gonna have to go 5 times tomorrow to work off all this food!

We finished eating and then chatted until we heard something next door... the Russels had shot the first preliminary firework signaling the start of the 2013 McAdams/Russel Fireworks WAR!!! It was on!!!

We got set up fast. We all knew what to do. Battle stations were manned/wo-manned... Mortars were loaded! Rockets set up! Mom had the huge Roman Candles ready. Ready for the first round or Shock & Awe!!! 3... 2... 1... UNLEASH THE MADNESS!!!

We set it off and totally blew away the Russels this year! They never knew what hit them! Here's a pic of the grand finale!

So! As you can see. We really do it up well! The Russels ran out this year about the time we got ready for the finale. They came over and admitted defeat and then we all hung out for a little while.

David made his way over but mostly just hung out with Luke. We did talk, but I could tell he was being a little weird. I wonder if he's seen the pics in the magazine yet... He probably has.

Anyway, we were about to head in. The "kids" always watch Independence Day after fireworks on the big screen ini the den. McAdams and Russels alike! Even David stayed this year. He does sometimes but lately he hasn't.  I love that movie!!!

After the movie, it was time to go. Me and Olivia packed up our things, said our goodbyes and headed out. Dad stopped me and said that mom and him were going to take a vacation and to check up on the place while they were gone. They were leaving Monday night. I told them I would and we were off...

On the way home, as we were pulling in the driveway, I "popped" the question...

"So, Olivia, I was thinking..."

"Don't hurt yourself Breely!" She giggled.

"Ha ha... very funny. Why don't you just sell your apartment and move in? Most of your stuff is already here and you are here like 90% of the time. Just move in already! I'd really like that!"

"I've been thinking about that too, Bree. I just don't know. That's a big step... My old life was at that apartment. I don't know if I wanna give it up yet. Let me think about it and I'll get back to you. Ok?"

"Ok... Yeah, just let me know when you're ready. I'm so tired... Can't wait to get some sleep."

"Me either but I gotta finish this program I've been working on... I might be up all night... You go on to bed and I'll join you when I can."

As we stepped in the door, she headed for the kitchen and her computer and I headed to my bed. That didn't go as I thought it would.

I just woke up and found O asleep on the kitchen table. Woke her a little and told her I was gonna go out and get a few groceries and things. She said ok and moped to the bed... I'm feeling a little down as I write this last part and remember that conversation from last night... :(

Oh well... off to the store with maybe a few tears in my eyes. One good thing is that I'm off today but looks like that will be sucked into the crappiness of the day.

Bye.

Luke's Visit...

He came. He saw. He believed!

Luke's visit went very well. He was shocked beyond belief at first, but he eventually believed me. I mean the proof of the magic still in the metal box is/was undeniable.

He came in and we greeted each other with a hug at the door and he said hello to Olivia and then went over to her and gave her a hug too! He does have a crush on her! I can tell! We then sat down and watched a little TV for a bit. Olivia went into her room to, I was guessing to get ready to go out shopping and we talked a little bit about stuff. He said he saw Lebron yesterday and actually got to shake his hand, had a bout a two-three sentence conversation with him and got his shirt autographed.

I got down to business after that. Here's the rundown.

"Luke, I really don't have anything to move. I... umm... just need to tell you something. I feel like we've  always been close, so, naturally it's you who I feel like I can share this with."

"Ok sis... What's going on. Sure, you can tell me anything..."

"Well, it's kinda difficult to just come out and say. It's not something that happens to someone everyday. I'm not even sure that anything like this has ever happened like what's happened to me and those now around me..."

"Just tell me! What's going on..."

"I'm different Luke. I've changed... I... I... This is crazy... You're gonna think I'm crazy..." I start to tear up... I can't believe I'm this emotional just telling him. "These damn hormones cause my emotions to resemble riding on a roller coaster."

He comes over and puts his arm around me and squeezes me a little. "Sis, I think you're the woman strongest I know... well, next to mom. You are amazing. You have accomplished so much in such a short time. Your job.. Your band... Sports in High School and College... You are absolutely gorgeous... You have this nice house... You live with - Olivia! You are amazing and you know I believe that! I've seen you rise above everything that has ever come your way! Just tell me what you're going through. We can work through it together!"

"Who you see right here in front of you is not who I used to be... I'm different Luke. I used to be..." I just couldn't say it. Surely he'll think I've gone crazy!

"Sis, just tell me already... You're killing me here!"

"Ok... I used to be a... dammit, I used to be a... there was this wish and... I wished to be... OK... I used to be a guy. I used to be your brother. I was your brother Brendan until like 2 months ago... There, I said it. Now you think I'm crazy... But, I have proof."

"Well... the proof you say you have will definitely help me believe you, that's for sure! Where/what is it."

"Ok. It's in my room. Just... Just come on. I'll show you..." We got up and he followed me into my room. I so wished I'd cleaned up a little. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't clean either. When I opened the door, it was cleaned up completely! Olivia had cleaned my room! OMG! I will really have to thank her for this! And there were these new pillows on my made-up bed that matched the comforter really well! Amazing girl! I really love her!

"You said you wished to be... a girl? I don't understand. You were a guy and you wished to be a girl..."

"Yeah. I did..." I look down and can't face him.

"Why did you do that? What was your reasoning?"

"I hated my life as a guy, every aspect of it almost. I mean, while I was a guy, I hid it and tried to live like that guy that I was, the guy that you all knew. I tried to make the most of my life, but I was really depressed and kept all the feelings of self hate and worthlessness inside. It was terrible and harder to do the older I got. I couldn't tell anyone though. I was really miserable but I think I hid it well."

"So you mean to tell me that like 2 months ago, you wished to become a girl because you hated your life as a guy, which is information you withheld from everyone you knew... and magically your wish came true and now you are who you are and everyone believes you have always been this 'girl' you with you being the only one knowing any different..." He took a deep breath after spouting all that out.

I looked up at him... "More or less, yes. That is what has happened..."

"Bree, I mean... Where is this proof? I really want to see it."

"It's over here, in my closet." I went over to the closet and opened the door and got out the metal lock box and brought it over.

"I know what that is. You'd never let anyone touch that and you hid it somewhere in your room. I'm guessing your... well, I guess your... wait, what's in it?"

I go over and get my diary off the nightstand. "This was in it, but really it wasn't what the 'guy' me put in there years ago."

"I was wanting to say your diary, but yeah, that didn't feel right for some reason. Bree, your hands. You're trembling."

"Yeah. This is a lot for me to tell and show. I'm just hoping that I'm not crazy and what I think is in this box is really in there and that I'm not living in some sort of dream world. I'm kinda having doubts."

"Well, let's find out. You gonna open it already?"

"Yeah... Here goes." I opened it and on top was the pic of the guy me and the guy Olivia at the camp.

"Who's that?"

"Let's talk about that pic later. There's another one I really want to show you." I was so happy that I wasn't crazy and the pics were in there just like I thought they were. I moved a few things around and found what I was looking for. It was a pic of the guy me, Luke and our brother Thomas after we had won a 3 on 3 tournament. We were holding up our little trophy and were all hugs and smiles.

"Hey, who is that guy with me and Thomas. That's at the 3 on 3 tournament that we won. Weren't you... didn't you... I'm so confused." I left it in the box for him to look at for a minute. I could see the confusion on his face. His brow wrinkled trying to think this all through.

"That pic is of how I remember it. That other guy was me... was Brendan from my other life when I was a guy. Watch this!" I slowly lifted the  pic out of the box and right before our eyes, the guy in the middle, a hot and sweaty yet victorious Brendan McAdams, changed into a hot and sweaty yet victorious Bree McAdams. The pic showed the guys 3 on 3 tournament banner over our heads change to a co-ed tournament banner. Teams had to have at least one girl on the court at all times. We ran the table and didn't loose a game. I could see the shock on his face. He was just staring at the pic then at me going back and forth.

"Oh My Holy GOD!!! You're telling the truth aren't you. What happens when you put the pic back in the box?"

"It changes back. Watch!" I put it back in and it changed back to Luke, Brendan and Thomas as well did the banner change back.

"I.. I... I just can't believe it. How could... how did this happen. You just wished it on day?"

"On a shooting star one night... Here's my wish. I'd done it thousands of times before but this time it worked for some reason - 'I wish to be a beautiful girl. Fun-loving, full of life. A free spirit. Still me in personality, but a girl me. And, I want my clothes to still fit me as a girl, especially my favorite clothes! And, I want my identity to change magically... and... also, I would like to...' I stopped right there. I though it was stupid and of no use. The next morning I woke up looking like this. It had worked!"

"What did you do when you woke up?"

"Well.. umm... found a mirror... kinda checked myself out a little... duh! Checked my ID - wallet and work badge. I didn't go to work that first day."

"Unbelievable! I still can't beileve it. You used to be a guy! I have no memory of it... So weird."

"Well, almost all of my memories are of me as a guy. Only ones from May 15th to now are of the girl me, with a few ones that came along i guess 'magically.' Just try to imagine that..."

"That must be crazy for you. I mean, I know by looking at you that you are a girl. But, like... you're like, all girl, right. I mean, can I be candid here... you now have a umm... vagi... umm... vagina and well, I can see your boobs... I mean, I can see that you have some probably have some under your shirt in your bra... you have a bra on, right... I'm so sorry... You seem to be adjusting well to all the new stuff and whatnot." I could tell he was flustered! It was so funny seeing him struggle to get that girly stuff out!

"I'm doing just fine! Look at me!" I motion to my face and body! I reach around and unhook my bra and show it to him. "Yeah! Well, I had a bra on." I lifted up my shirt and showed him my boobs!!! "I'm sorry... That was inappropriate." He saw my boobs but quickly turned away. 

"Oh my God, Bree. I can't believe you just did that!"

"I just really don't have a problem showing my boobs off. Guess that's still the guy in me. I also did a modeling job for a big-time company in New York on the beach recently... In a bikini and some in lingerie. About half the pics were topless. Don't tell mom and dad, please. I guess they'll find out sooner or later though. I'm not gonna show you my vagi... vagina though! hee hee... But really, I love who I am now! I'm perfect now. It's what I've wanted since I was like 15 or something... I'm finally how I always thought I was. Now granted, this body is amazing. And, I'm like 8 years younger than I was as Brendan. I never thought I would look this good... ever!"

"Wow! Just Wow! You truly are more amazing now that I know all this. It's so much though, isn't it. What about... well... sex and orgasms? I'm guessing you've done that..."

"Yes, you have no idea... It is a lot. Orgasms - All that we as guys heard about a girls orgasms were true! They are unbelievable! And they keep coming and don't loose any of the sexual feelings! I so know how to please a woman now. I had been doing it all wrong..."

"Damn! So bizarre that you've been on both sides now! Not many people, according to you, can say that!!! So... the other pic. Who's that with the guy you? Campers from camp?"

"Yeah... Umm... that kid to my left was Oliver Peterson. You know him now as... umm... Olivia..." I take the pic out of the metal box and it completely changes from Brendan to me as Bree and a few other campers at a totally different camp.

"What did you say? She changed too? She used to be a guy? I like someone who used to be a... umm.. Ok, so I think she's hot. Sue me!!!"

"Well, even if she hadn't changed you couldn't have her!"

"Why not???"

"She's mine!!!"

"So you're a... lesbian I'm guessing?"

"Correct. Still mostly a straight guys brain in here... I still don't want anything to do with "guy parts" if you know what I mean..."

"Yeah. I do! So... Damn! You used to be my brother and now you're my sister! So unfreaking believable. And you're getting it on with Olivia!?!?!?"

"I know, right? We were fairly close as brothers. That's why I chose you to tell. I needed someone outside of other changed girls to tell. It was for my own sanity. I'm glad I told you... Are you glad to know?"

"Yeah! So... you and Olivia, huh?"

"Oh yeah! That girl is... well... hot stuff! She's amazing. See! This is still like old times. Both of us telling each other about girls we're getting with... well, sort of. I mean, I'm a lesbian female now and you're still a straight guy... but, we both still get the girls. Actually, now, I get more looks and well, girls, than I ever did as a guy!!! One more thing... Watch this!" I put the diary back in and it changed to the Playboys.

"Christ! Can I see those. Those are old-school!"

"Sure. Take a look!" He takes them out and them merge and form the diary again.

"Damn! Well, this might be some good 'reading,' too!"

"Give that back, meanie!" I fight him for it and it turns into a wrestling match on my bed. He accidentally elbowed me really had in the boob. It really hurt, bad! I pretend it hurt more than it did and he comes over to see about me. 

"Are you ok? I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to elbow you there... in your.. boob..."

"Owww. Damn! Watch it!" I quickly grad the diary out of his hand and stick my tongue out at him and put it my sock drawer!

"I can't believe I fell for that! You got me good!

"Yep! Sure did! My boob does hurt like hell though! You got 'me' good!"

We talked a little more and then decided to go out for a drink. He said he was buying!!! It was like a new life between us. We were really able to talk now. I felt so much freedom. I told him just about everything that had happened that I could think of. About Carolyn and Tonya (I did leave some of that out between me and Tonya) and also Dani, who I hadn't met yet face to face. We talked about hot girls at the bar and had a great time! We even played a game of pool I almost won. He's quite the pool shark. We had one in the game room. He always ran the table. Only dad could beat him sometimes. I did like once.

Here's a pic of us!!!

Redid my hair before we left. Those bangs in my eyes were driving me cray-cray!
That;s Luke's semi-shocked face. He had had a few beers by when this was taken...

So! There is the big reveal post. I feel so much better now! He dropped me off back home around 2:30 and I just crashed after washing my face. I did drink, but not much. I feel ok this morning... Called in to work though. I just need a day off! Back to sleep for me!!! It's still too early!

So, until the next post! See ya!

Power Back. Modem Broken. Luke's Visit is Nearing!

Well, I guess I'll not take my home internet for granted. It sucks not having it. O said that my moden got fried so even when the power came back on, we still were without it. She went to Best Buy while I was at work and got me another, better modem! Such a sweetie. Got home and took a shower and let my hair dry naturally! Looks kinda crazy/cool!

Ok... It's 6:00pm and I'm freaking. O said that Luke's gonna be cool with it when I show him the magical metal box and what it can do... I sure hope so. She said that she'd leave us alone and maybe go shopping or something. My stomach is in knots! Can I really do this!?!?!?!?!?

So freaked and scared that my eyeballs have turned to skulls!!! 

EEEKKKK!!!!

Sunday Night at My Fam's House!

My mom called and said that dad decided to grill out tonight and asked if I wanted to come. I said sure and that Olivia was probably gonna come to. She said that she figured she would come and that she'll see us around 6-ish.

We got there around 6:05 and I could smell the burgers and steaks cooking! We fixed out plate and sat down outside on the back covered deck and enjoyed one hell of a good meal! Mom had gotten out the big fryer and made some homemade fries and they had watermelon and cantaloupe as well! I ate a burger and the little part of Olivia's steak she couldn't finish. Then mom brought out some homemade lemon pound cake and I completely stuff myself. I secretly lifted up my shirt and looked in shock at my belly spilling over my shorts!!! DAMN!!! Mom cornered Olivia and started to ask her about where she was from. Olivia seemed to be doing fine... thank God! Luke wanted to know if i wanted to throw some football and I said I did. I really wanted to tell him about what all's happened to me. For some reason I feel like I need to tell him.

"Luke, whatcha doing later on this week?"

"Nothing really. Just the normal stuff. Why?"

"Well, I might need you to come over and help me move some stuff."

"Sure! What day you thinking?"

"Oh, umm, let's say Wednesday. Will that work?"

"I don't see why not. What time?"

"After work... around 6:30-ish?"

"Sounds good! Now, go long sis!"

I did our favorite route! Straight then cut to the old swingset, fake the pass then run toward the pool and catch it there for the score!!! Dolphins win! Marino finally gets his ring!!!

"You ready to go in?"

"Sure! I wanna go upstairs and check to see if I have anything I might need from my old closet."

"Cool! Hey! It's great seeing you so happy! I really like this new you!"

"Well thanks! And I am happy! It feels good to be happy."

"No prob!"

"Well, I better go rescue Olivia. Mom had her cornered. Looked like one of her 2000 question moments! See ya in bit Luke."

"Bye!"

I went in and mom had some old photo albums out and was showing them to O!

"You were such a cute kid, Bree! Just a little darling!"

"I know, right?" I'm gonna head upstairs and see if there's anything I can use from my old closet. Come on up if you can peal yourself away from those albums!"

I headed upstairs and opened the closet doors and saw my old computer. I could only imagine that it probably has some big glimpses into my/Bree's life on it... I decided to hook it up. I got it going and started to look for some stuff about my past. I started with trying to find some picture folders and I hit the jackpot in he documents folder! Wow! All these pics of me and I have no remembrance of them being taken. So weird and almost spooky! I'm gonna have to take this thing home with me!

I just connected to wifi and logged on and am writing this here. I also found some pics of me from high school... Here they are!!! Look at how young I look!!! Look at my hair! So crazy awful!!! Lol!

Me and Lizzy!

Lizzy squeezing my face!

Me and Emily. My/Bree's best friend!

OMG!!! As I just uploaded these on the page, the memories came back to my. I just got chills! BIG time! This was last day of school my senior year!!! As well as signing in our yearbooks, a lot of us girls decided to wear blue shirts, for some crazy reason and sign the shirts as well! Up top, that's my good friend Lizzy! In the middle, that's Lizzy squeezing my cheeks! And on the bottom, doing the duck face, that's Emily, my best friend from high school.

OMG! Lizzy! We could've been a couple. We had some sexual tension/tendencies between us. I think one time we made out and played with each others boobs at my house in the treehouse. Holy shit!!! We did that before me and David made out. That's why I stopped him I think. I was starting to get confused about my sexuality at that point... Damn! This is so much of a memory overload. Gonna close it down and go look at some pics with O and mom...

Bye for now! Bree signing off form her old computer in her old room!