Show Tonight/Feel Like Crap...

Monthly Visitor came last nigh. Just in time for the show tonight. I'd rather be really bitchy then feel this bad and have to play. It's really bad right now so I better get some iron in me and fast.

I managed a half smile just for you guys and gals... Yea! Go me!

I might go get a burger but I don't feel like getting up. I so wish I was at Tonya's last night! She'd go get me one for sure!

Have to be at sound check at 4:30. The venues just right outside of town. I hope it's not hot in this place. I don't want to be hot tonight.

I have a terrible headache and did I mention that I'm bleeding from my girl parts!!! Ugg...

Bye.

What an End to Last Week!!!

I think I'm finally getting caught up on sleep and it's taken me forever!!! so Here's the rundown on the craziness!

Wednesday Night - Long Ass Rehearsal!

Thursday Afternoon - Tripped and fell and 'sprained my right wrist really badly. Thank god it wasn't my left one, then I couldn't play guitar. Well, I would have tried and I probably would have done it, but it would have hurt like hell!

Friday - Slept in till like 1pm and then was lazy until around 4:00pm. Had to be at the venue for the show at 5pm for sound check and I was late... Got there around 5:31 and everyone was waiting on me. Yikes!!! Show went well, really well although my wrist was hurting like hell. Made holding my pick feel really awkward! Anyway, Tonya couldn't go for some reason so no pics really... Just two I downloaded from the venue's website today. If I'm not careful, I'm gonna have to start paying Tonya for being my personal photographer!

Me and Allen rocking out. Hmm, interesting...

In a trance or something it looks like! Oh yeah, wrist probably hurting here...
Should have kept my brace in it during the show.

Well, me and Luke are about to go do some shopping!

Wrist is throbbing so I guess it's time for more tylenol! I might end up getting some x-rays tomorrow, I just don't know yet.

Also, no real cramping this last week and my monthly visitor showed up this morning. Yea!?!?! I was wondering where it was... Like 2 days late and kinda light... Weird...

Almost Merry Christmas!!!

Feeling Really Bad...

Today or tomorrow should be the day for my monthly visitor... I feel totally like shit today. Just laying in the bed and looking around on youtube and trying to figure out the best way to get some of our songs onto the blog... Oh... damn... there it is. Gotta go!

B

Costume Actually Coming Along Nicely

I knew the minute I saw this anime Lady Vader art that I wanted to cosplay the costume. However, when I started to show some of my friends, I got a few concerned “Wow, that’s ambitious!” comments, especially from Tonya. I mean, could I actually pull it off? Would I look ridiculous in all that armor? My head was full of questions about how comfortable I would be, whether or not I could even make everything in time, and if I would even look right as this character. But in the end, so far, I've had so much fun and am really proud of myself and mom for helping me with this and we've both learned a few new things along the way. So with that, I wanted to share a brief tutorial and the progress pics I took along my journey of making Lady Vader!

The first thing me and mom made so far is the 2 piece suit, which was made entirely of a matte stretch PVC fabric. The stretch came in handy since the back of the top and back of the leggings were not quilted and the fabric was also just the right thickness that I could quilt it without being super bulky. To quilt all the front pieces (front of top, arms, and front of leggings), we drew chalk lines on the stretch PVC (about 3/4″ apart) and sewed the 3 layers together – the stretch PVC, batting, and a thin layer of stretch mesh spandex on the inside.

Once we made the basic front and back of the top, we added a mock neck and sleeves. As for the leggings, I only quilted these about halfway down since I knew I would be wearing tall boots or shin guards.

The leggings and the full suit!

I made the decision early on to eliminate Vader’s outer cape. I really liked the way the inner cape looked feminine and kind of like a dress so I was very specific in draping it a certain way. Mom, being the seamstress she is, already had this wonderful dress form just for this!

Before and after of the draped inner cape.

So, that's how far I'm along on it now. I plan on getting with Luke tonight to work on the armor and electronics and all the other stuff, like maybe modding up the helmet a bit, if I even wear one with this. So far, so good! Once again, THANKS MOM!!! Only thing is I'm worried about is that I'm kinda bloated, big-time this month. Might need to make it a little more snug than the tape around my waist is showing... Yep, you guessed it. Monthly visitor. Yea. :(

Last Day in Essex...

Well, it's my last day here and me and Melody and some of her friends are going shopping in London! I can't wait. I've always wanted to go to London.

On the train sitting across from Melody. I'm so ready to get off and spend some pounds!

I bought a ton of stuff. Not so sure how to get it all back! Ha! I'll probably have to ship it to myself in a big box or something. Lots of cool Beatles stuff and Star Wars stuff! I'd stumbled upon this Star Wars shop in London online one time and had to find it while I was here. We headed to the address and turned a corner and BAM!!! There it was! I was in heaven. It's called www.jedi-robe.com and it is amazing. Spent about £1000! Paid the taxi driver to just stay with us so that was cool! Here are some pics...

I was in heaven. I bought that Leia costume pictured and a Jedi costume. Gonna have to probably alter both of them, but my mom can do that when I get back. Also bought a cool trooper helmet and lots of other cool stuff.

I also bought some clothes, not that I need any but, ya know, I was in London and the stores were so cool and the stuff was amazing.

Heading back to the SINSTAR office now with all my stuff and then they are taking me back to the airport to head back across the pond. So, I guess I'll write again when I'm back in the USA! And ugg... Monthly Visitor arrived this morning. Perfect timing for being trapped in a plane for like 6 hours. Yea! :(

Bye!

Tootles!

Had Some Pizza Time Today!!!

When it's this time of the month for me, I really need to eat because of my iron deficiency. So, for lunch today at the studio, I went and bought pizza for everyone! Even the bands and musicians who I don't know who were there got to benefit from my generosity today. This is a time of the month that I really love to hate. I'm glad that it's here, it means I'm a girl fir real, but, it does kinda suck dealing with this. SO gross and uncomfortable and just seems to suck the life out of me and this one is seeming to linger on forever. And, I have to buy tampons and stuff and that's a little embarrassing...

Anyway, diets off for now and I sure as hell don't feel like running or going to the gym. So, pig-out time I guess.

Workout time for Bree!

So, it was time to hit the gym. I have a rekindled passion for getting into shape now! I can't wait to work out and get toned and get in shape. I just hope that I can keep it up and the fire and desire to work out won't go away like it usually does.

Tonya brought me to one of the gyms she used to train at when she boxed. It was a hard core place. Lots of woman boxers here. I didn't realize there was such a popularity in the sport of women's boxing. Lots of guys here also, but lots of women too. We went to the weights first and it was quite funny. When I was a guy, I could lift a good bit. But now, I could barely get the bar lifted on the big weights. I don't really know what this contraption pictured was called, but I'm sure I'm gonna be sore! I moved around a bit and did a few machines and then Tonya was gonna go into the ring and hit around with a friend of hers, no head contact she told me...

I was on an elliptical and saw her over there and I was really shocked at how good she moved in the ring and how fast her hands were moving. It was hard to believe she got so beat up in her last fight. Something definitely must have happened to her that night. I got off of the bike and stood by the ring for a bit and when she was finished, I hopped in and took this super sexy pic of her. Mmm... she it so hot!

We then headed for the showers, separate ones... and then went out for dinner at a place she picked and she made me get a salad and water to drink. Worst meal ever. I so wanted Pizza Hutt! Oh well...

We headed back to her place and watched Master and Commander. I stayed over there last night so that meant I was a bit later getting in to work here this morning for various reasons... Gotta get some posters designed for a client today and finish up some other things.

Also, monthly visitor this morning. Yea. :(

PEACE!

Saved!!!

It came!!! I've never been so glad to be bleeding from down there in my short life as a girl!!! I even did a little happy dance and Jess came in and looked at me strange.

 I kinda filled her in on what had happened but she already knew anyway so I just answered some more "detailed" questions she had for me. 

Earlier in the day, as I was playing guitar and going over some parts, she came in and we had a good little talk. She got kicked off her roller derby team when her captain found out she was a lesbian. She's bummed out because she really loves to skate in derbys. I have the band, Tonya has "boxing," Heather has skateboarding... She just feels like she doesn't have anything... I told her I thought that derby girls were a little more accepting to that but she that "Most of my team was but we got a new captain who didn't want a lesbian watching her back because i would just want to fuck it. and she bullied the other girls about it" She said that it also didn't help her chances that one day when the team was skating, she gave her captain a body check at full speed... So yeah, she's looking for a new team I think...

Also, she told me that Tonya told her about us, about us changing... I was shocked that she knew... She said that Heather didn't know about us yet...

She said that if Heather wins this skateboarding competition she's in that's been postponed for a while due to so many storms here lately, then they will get to stay here in Miami... She said they really like it here and like being with Tonya and me and they'll miss us if they have to leave...

So yeah... I'm gonna go watch some Letterman and then go curl up with Tonya in her bed with her and try to get some sleep... hee hee...

And by the way, Jess is really pretty as well. Lots of tattoos as well...

Nighty Night!!!

Spent the Night at Tonya's...

Had to write this before I forgot too much!

I went to meet up with Tonya yesterday to talk about some things. After our photoshoot Sunday the 2nd, I stayed with her and we, well, hooked up. After a few drinks and just being around her, I couldn't, we couldn't take it anymore. We made love and I ended up waking up the next morning naked in her bed and she was gone with a note left for me there on her dresser. She said she loved her time with me but she had to get away for a while. The note went into further details saying she went to Arizona to visit her grandmother whom she had recently learned about and was not sure when she would be back... I was really shocked and started to tear up a bit. And, I had really overslept, had no clothes and was really late for work, too! 

So, last night, I met up with her at a nightclub to talk about that. I just told her that I was really confused when I woke up like that and though I'd done something wrong. I was really kinda heartbroken because I thought what we did was something she was wanting to do as well. We got that mini-mess straightened out and then two guys started hitting on us and offered us drinks. The first guy that came over said that he saw me at one of my band's shows and blah, blah, blah... Hey, free drinks, right? It was ok, just talking to them until the one guy, what was his name, oh yeah, douche-bag. We just sat there talking and stuff until douche-bag, a little drunk mind you, started to feel up my leg. I pulled away and he scooted over more and did it again. I politely asked him to stop and he didn't... I got up and said to Tonya it's time to leave and she threw the rest of her drink in his face... Well, that got him to stop. I think she also kicked him hard in the shin. He was doubled over when I looked back on our way out.

We headed back to her place and ended up in a loveseat on her patio overlooking the ocean with her head in my lap and I was just playing with her hair and stroking her back. I just wanted to relax. I mean, I'm still on the "rag," although I was too embarrassed to tell Tonya that at first. I also felt that every time we're alone, it turns into sex... I thought about it and told her this... this is kinda personal...

...I want to do this so bad but... I also made a deal with myself that I would just, this time, well... I just want to spend some time with you that's not completely and overtly sexual in nature. I mean, like, I am turned on right now but I just wanted this time to be a time to hang out and snuggle and bond as friends... I'm sorry... You turn me on so much and I, for me just wanted to prove to myself that I could spend time alone with you that wouldn't turn in to sex. It's just a me thing... I'm just trying to work on control and being in control of me... and not just lashing out sexually every chance I get... Doing what I'm wanting to do now is so damn hard with someone like you here in my arms. but I feel like I have to do it, for my sake. I hope you understand... My sex drive seems to always be in 6th gear, especially around you girls who have transformed... I know that our "encounters" are few and far between mostly, but, I really want this one to be about us just enjoying being with and around and near each other... I'm so sorry if I completely ruined what you wanted for tonight... Please don't take this the wrong way... I really feel deeply for you... I really do!

So... we just lay there until I started feeling dizzy. T helped me to her bed and made me some food and I started feeling better. I texted O to tell her what was going on and she asked if she wanted her to pick me up but I told her I'd be ok here at Tonya's. I haven't really eaten much since this period started so I guess I was just physically spent. I fell asleep with her playing with my hair while watching Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. 

I was woken up by her putting a big necklace on me and from the smell of something delicious cooking. After I rubbed my eyes a few times, I hate sleeping in make-up, she wanted to take a pic of me looking all sleepy. I turned around and posed the best I could. I didn't want to do it but she insisted! I was sure I looked great with crazy hair and make-up all under my eyes, but I did it anyway. She sent me the pic. She said I look really sexy in it. Here it is... Don't I just look great!?!?!? mmm hmm...

Actually, I kinda like this look!!!
Might go for this the next time the band plays...

So... I got up and we ate, some amazing French Toast, and then I had to take a shower but T really wanted some... loving... I agreed to do her but she was to not touch me. I hoped in the shower for a few minutes and get as clean as I could in like three minutes and then she hopped in. Well... she got what she wanted, believe me! And she seemed to really like it! 

I borrowed some of her clothes, not her bra though... One cup swallowed my whole damn chest!!! Hee Hee!!! ;) Have you seen those hooters that girl has! Check them out here on her blog!!! I finished getting ready and I let a secret out... Oops... BIG TIME!!! We also thought it would be cool to double date - Me and Olivia and her and Dani. Go to a fancy resturant then go see maybe The Man of Steel or something... Sounds like fun!!!

Now I'm at work and feeling lots better!!! My mom called me like an hour ago to check up on me again. She said to be sure to take my vitamins and that I'm borderline anemic!!! So that's why I haven't been feeling well and almost passed out last night!!! Makes sense now! Lost lots of blood.. Iron low... Not really eating...

Is it bad that I can't stop staring at that pic of myself... *blush*

Oh yeah... Dad is sick so the dinner at the "old folks home" has been moved until tomorrow... Bummer... I guess I'll have to drag myself home to Olivia... ;)

Bye for now! One hour left at work!!! Woo Hoo!!!

Home Sweet Home!!!

Just got out of the shower... I feel so dirty. Anyways, naked pic time, well, kinda... Feeling a little better with the Midol flowing through my body. I hope I don't overdose on that stuff!!! I do feel really weak... Just look in my eyes... Tired and weak...

Feels good to be clean, if for just a little while...

Since Olivia has developed quite a liking for romantic movies and romantic comedies, we're gonna watch City of Angels! A good ole Nick Cage and Meg Ryan flick!!! It'll be good to get on the couch and snuggle and watch a good movie. We can't do much else right now anyway!!! I mean we could... but.. gross!!!

Nighty night!!!

My Uterus is a Selfish Bitch.

Didn't my uterus "supposedly" just get a new lining like a month ago... uuugghhhh... I know this signifies I'm truly a woman, but I want this over. Pic I just took after this write-up...

Hair actually wasn't that bad after it dried by itself this morning.
Put on a little lipstick, eyeliner on the bottom and mascara as well...

I was sitting at my desk working and I just couldn't take the "pad" anymore. I felt too much like a diaper. I had some tampons in my purse so I decided to go to the bathroom and "insert" one. I got up and headed in to the bathroom. I sat down and looked down and myself... GROSS!!! I wrapped the  bloody, used pad up in a huge wad of TP and then remembered that my purse was sitting on my desk. As I feel some "stuff" leaking out that very moment, I panicked... What am I gonna do?"

I balled up a big think of TP and stuffed it in my panties and pulled them up. GOD, my and this bathroom have shared some moments!!! I walked very awkwardly back to my office and sat down. I couldn't go back to the bathroom just now could I? 

I decided to wait like 30 minutes and go to the one in the lobby...

Time was up, I got up and saw no visible leakage. Headed to the lobby and sat down, pulled down my pants and, umm... gross again. Leaked through the TP and all over my panties and a little on the crotch of my jeans, but now much... Dammit!!! I flushed the TP and decided to put in the tampon... Now, where are those directions Olivia wrote down...

1. Sit on the toilet with your legs apart.
2. Make sure the string is hanging outside the barrel.
3. Take your left hand and spread your "pussy" lips apart. (Not really feeling like calling it that right now...)
4. Find your "pussy." (Really?)
5. Hold the applicator and place your index finger at the end of the applicator. That's the part where the string is hanging out.
6. Slide the tampon into your vagina aiming toward your butt-bone. Stop when your fingers touch your body. (I'm not getting my fingers that close...)
7. Push the tampon in until the smaller tube is inside the larger tube.
8. Remove the applicator. Make sure the string is hanging out.
9. Wash your hands and clean up.

Sounded easy enough... It wasn't that bad. Got it in correctly the first try! Headed back to my office.

So, it's like 3:15 and I'm ready to go home. Also, got a call from someone today... An interesting call at that!

Hopefully I'll write some more tonight...

Bye!

It's Here. Present and Very Much so Accounted for

Woke up at 6am... Yeah. It's here. Gross. Work's gonna be a blast today, I'm sure... Gonna be a ponytail day for Bree today for sure... Might just keep this hoodie on all day, too.

But... like I said yesterday, part of the territory. Just a really gross part. And, I think I really need to trim my "undergrowth." Monthly visitor found it's way into the forest and was camping out there some... Sorry for saying that... EEWWWWW.....

OLIVIA!!!! Get in here!!!!

And the Revelations Keep Pouring in...

I was reading and looking at the pics of O's post a while ago and I was able to probably conclude the reason why I've felt so bad and been so crabby for about the last past week... I think I'm about to have my special, monthly visitor...

It's one of those things that comes with the territory. I'm not happy about bleeding from my vaginal area, but, it does mean that I'm fo rizzle a woman! I mean, I'm almost welcoming it with a little bit of anxiety though. I mean, it's pretty scary! I just talked with O about her first one. She said it was bad and very heavy and that it totally drained her energy and she felt very weak and depressed... Wow! Yikes! Damn, I never thought I'd be talking to a girl, who used to be a guy, about me having my period with me being a girl that was also transformed into a girl as well. I just went to my bathroom and put a... maxi-pad, with wings, into my panties. Super sexy... I know, right? Feels weird having that extra material between my legs. I'll probably go the tampon route once it starts, I guess. I'll just have to see. O said that's what she did and she can help me with it if I want her to...

B